Mona Hanna

Fantasy/romance writer Mona Hanna. I like kittens.

Overly personal post

— feeling sad

Sorry guys, I've just had a terrible week and wanted to vent. Feel free to stop reading here.

 

I take medication for depression and my psychiatrist recently changed my medication to something different. The side effects of the drug I was on before were quite bad and I wasn't doing well emotionally. I switched to the new drug at the start of this week, so have been emotionally very up and down as the medicine should take a while to work properly. I've also been feeling quite sick from withdrawing from the old drug - nausea and insomnia. I'm improving every day, though, so hopefully I'll be fine soon enough.

 

The worst thing that happened, though, was today I found out my mother had stopped taking her medication for schizophrenia a month ago. I moved in with her five years ago to take care of her when her mental illness became severe, and she was hospitalised. She finally agreed to take medication for the first time EVER at the time, despite being diagnosed twelve years before. In Australia you can't force a mentally ill person to take their medication unless they're a danger to themselves or others.

 

Anyway my mum was doing quite well for a long time, but a couple of months ago had pain in her legs which wouldn't go away, and walking was very hard. She refused to see her doctor but finally asked to go to hospital to have tests done. They said the pain was from old age, so I bought her a walker and a shower chair, and she stopped being in pain.

 

But I found out today she stopped taking her medication since the hospital visit. She told me not to buy it anymore. She was convinced the pills were what caused her leg pain, and thinks the reason she doesn't feel leg pain anymore is because she stopped taking them.

 

I begged and pleaded and argued with her for a long time, and she finally agreed to take her medication. I gave it to her and I'll do that every day from now on. She was trustworthy with taking her medication for years but not any more.

 

But what if she says no tomorrow? I'm scared but will have to deal with that if it happens. I'm also concerned she may have some psychotic episodes in the future because she was off her pills for a while, although her behaviour has been normal so far.

 

So that's what's happening. I can cope with it but next week I'm buying five kittens :) Or at least a pretty dress and all the cupcakes. I hope things work out. Worst week in a while :(